letter the ninth: XOXOXO, a reader

When I think about it, I'm going to get this leditor from Michigan framed and keep it at my desk. It's just so magical. The only thing that could made it better is if it were written on Hello Kitty stationery in cursive with hearts dotting every i and sealed with a kiss. It warms my heart to see how much a reader truly cares.

As a warning to all of you journalists and readers with virgin eyes (none of you), this letter is a bit graphic in its description of the love for the newspaper.

Hey Editors publishers + other assholes on Your (toilet) paper. Is your Dept as Fucked up as you All Are.?

Your paper stinks +  you all Suck, + Fuck (each other.)


You should be printing HorseShit News to match your Brains, you motherfuckin Assholes!!!!!



That's five, count 'em, five exclamation marks. You know this person means business.

Here's my response on behalf of all of teh newz:
In some cultures, newsprint is a delight for the bottom and if your paper stinks, you should try reading the business section before using it to clean up your "business." If the department isn't as fucked up as we are, it needs to hang out with us and a bottle of tequila on a Friday night.  Speaking of Friday nights, in general, we do like to suck, + fuck (but doing it to each other could lead to awkward Monday mornings unless we can blame it on the tequila).  Also, you should have figured out by now that we print BULLshit News, which actually matches the brains of some of us (Or at least our stories after tequila). The HorseShit News only comes out during Derby season.  Also, what happens with us, your mother and assholes is strictly between us and the tequila (your mother's really good).

XOXOXO