letter the twenty-fourth: envelope to the editor

Somewhere in the course of devouring four plates of food Thursday, I apparently ate today's leditor. Luckily, we got another one from the guy who set the nut job meter off the charts.


"Remember I sent you that crazy letter from the guy who was not just content to fill pages with handwritten screed, but actually started taping different letters together?" the contributor said. "Now he just sent an envelope with the writing on the outside. On the inside? Empty! I fear he's at the end of his tether."

Read it and weep. Literally. The capitalization is my estimate of where a sentence would start if there were punctuation. Or lowercase letters (with the exception of the first letter of the city). At least he doesn't dot his capital I.

The dude is definitely hell-bent on having more than one wife. I bet he thinks it's just like having two women in a porno.

United States is now communist Coperate giants give jobs to save labor Cuba has free health care no greedy doctors no insurance needed Give Castro Nobel Peace Prize, its good acorns in White House Laws are now liberal Give men right to choose to have more than one wife – Mormons 2008

letter the fourteenth: loss for words

I've been waiting for post this one. Partially because I was trying to figure out what in the blue hell it said. Partially because I was waiting for more leditors from somewhere so this would be the first big dip in our roller coaster ride of crazy. I guess, at this point, since all I have left or the spam "obits," this instead will be going out with a bang. That is, until you all start submitting stuff on a more frequent basis. This trickle is killing me!

Obadiah in Bible said even as your have drunk drinking upon Gods Holy Utah Mountains do [WHAT?] wrong to Lords Ambassador Albanian Mormon Prince david His family so shall all the heathen continually drink upon you.

[WHAT?] causing attacks on your am ambassadors the embassies other targets in outside United States. Riots by blacks Negroes startinged April 1964 - crime on your Mexican border - raids into United States - rapes houses taken people kidnapped - pay ransoms -

On 9-11-00 in detroit - Michigan a metro Christian [NAME] in answer to davids letter said on TV-26 if Mormons make polygamy legal he [COMPLETE MESS OF TEXT] get guns go to Salt Lake City to stop Mormons comit murder his holy war-

On 9-11-01 Jesus Christ had Saidi Arabian Prince Osama Bin Laden A polygamist attack twin towers World Trade Center in New York the Pentagon - the White House

On 9-11-09 and Attack is planed to murder. As many U.S. citizen as possible 9-11-09 You should Make polygamy legal.

Ambassadors for Christ Pastor [ADDRESS].

Another attack by man from Jordan was planned ot take place October 2009.Terrorist. U.S. Bastards - Plummer holy war - Your doing wrong to Jesus son david.



I'm so confused. I'm so, so confused.  What the hell is this?  It's like someonedrank to the point that he thought he was a Mormon prophet. But Mormons don't even drink coffee. I think this guy is blaming 9/11, Detroit's race riots in the '60s, illegal immigration and Apple Jacks not tasting like apples on the U.S. making polygamy illegal. Yes, all the terrorists will like us if we had multiple wives. Also, I might not know my Bible from cover to cover but I'm pretty sure it would have been very hard for David to actually be Albanian, especially since, apparently, the Balkans were known as Illyria at the time. Oh, and the Bible mentions the begets several times and he is not Albanian unless that's where the Garden of Eden was.

The contributor said this guy sends things in all the time and this is just the beginning (something we just HAVE to see ... hint, hint).

"[L]ately they've been more frantic, with many pages taped together and stuffed inside a tiny envelope," the contributor said. "Jesus and 9/11, together again."

I don't know about you all but I'd would be making sure there wasn't any power in these and would wash my hand after handling any of his correspondence.

This is just ... Wow. This is probably the first time I have said "This guy needs to be committed" and meant it.

Someone has to be able to top this. Send it to leditoreditor [at] gmail.com. Please. May heathen continually drink upon you if you don't.

letter the first

To the Editor

Is there a such thing as Voodoo, witchcraft etc. I'm a Christian (Church of Christ) and I know there is such a thing as evil Black arts. You don't Have to be afraid of it to believe it's there. there are some people who worship the devil faithfully as I Worship God. yes there are Satan followers (just like I follow Jesus). it may be your Neighbor, it may be your boss, coworkers, Some of your friends, or even a family member. there was a woman [who] met a man who was a devil worshiper. She met met him walking to the Store. In any case she took him to her church [and] he got baptized. She thought he had changed. instead of converting him, he was able to convert her. he made a necklace out of Turkey and chicken bones to keep evil away. She was not in her Right mind. his mom and sister called her N. Word and other Names. and She would sit at his house for hours his mom had a big Red Voodoo doll that he Said his mother tried to kill her with. the man and the Lady Broke up she got her mind back, and returned back to Church. She goes to church faithfully and prays daily she met a man who treats her Right and loves the lord (prays) six times a day. they pray together every morning. God Bless.