letter the thirty-sixth: they keep coming

I got the mother lode. There is a stack of letters from this old woman ranting about mostly the Greeks.  I don't think I've seen anyone who is apparently in their 90s be 1) able to write so much and 2) be so angry.  It's amazing.

"These aren't dated so I'm not sure that our paper ever ran them," the contributor said. "Apparently, they were ignored from what she said in one of them but there's another that implies that some of them got through."

Here is one of the ones where she mentions that they haven't been running, complains about the American Legion and people taking care of historic sites.  OH, OH and it gets better on the back. It gets better.

I guess you have one bad Gyro and the Greeks ruin the town.

I think my favorite stylistic error of hers is that she complains about immigrants but she often drops articles like stereotypical immigrants.

Sears and Roebuck Houses [SOMETHING] anything past 20th St. except for [SOMETHING PROBABLY HISTORIC] home that [SOMETHING]  bought for  a far isn't old. [HISTORIC] Home [NOT GREEK FAMILY]  [SOMETHING] is OLD! But the B.S. don't want that advertised just their PICTURES

I graduated from High School here and was shocked at the way the town had been ruined by undesirables and our beautiful high school stands empty but we have an expensive statue in our ugly park!

The Greeks and Blacks came here during WWII but they have their say and do as they please in a town they ruined. As about a Greek who owned a [THE "DUMP" SHE MENTIONED YESTERDAY] on East Broadway! Ask about American Legion who was run out of [COUNTY] but "Went Where else?" [CITY]! Combat Veterans (unless in small town where no other Social Activities) will not join American Legions they teach young men to guzzle Beer ($$ for them) and Liquor!) So 3 Combat Veterans said!) I was told when they ran them out of [COUNTY] they would not sell them land to build [SOMETHING].

What amazed me one day one of our (Greek) [CITY] "historians" standing in a garden she did not make!) with white dress hair in place and a clean garden shovel in her hand! In [NEWSPAPER]!

At [HISTORIC MANOR'S] Garden — Who can work in a garden and keep every hair in place all dressed in White!? a laughing matter!

This is my favorite part. THiS iS MY FAVORITE PART. GET DRIVE-THROUGH BELGIAN WAFFLES!

If I still worked for a Newspaper I would. Too old Want MORE Truth from an Old Timer that is an American and White. As Us and Print iT! Stop pampering —

The people who Work hard in this town to keep it SAFE and CLEAN by [SOMETHING] and [SOMETHING]  do not get credit.

And when is a fire going to be put under City Council to get off their Butts and do wht City needs not what they want!! Overhear Variations and insults from [ENGLAND? DOES THAT SAY ENGLAND?]!

The last editor-publisher will not Print "Letters to the Editor" but a bunch of stuff from every place else — We want NEWS and Pictures and letters from the Tax Payers who are Pleased with this crappy Town or Not!

Not <3's and flowers of the [GREEK] or [GREEK] or [BLACK] family! Isn't it a town of Working caring PEOPLE for everyone anymore. Do they have to be from Calif. or Ga.?

Alzheimer's is a bitch, ain't it?

letter the thirty-fourth: apparently large question marks are catching

The contributor of today's installment [sorry it's late, I was at the state capitol ... oooh ... seat of power and (and sometime seat of insanity)] said that the town this is from has/had a large Greek population and a lot of old people hate them. Absolutely hate them. He/she has a few from this same writer ("They may be the same letter in several installments. We aren't sure.") and there are apparently potshots at the Greeks and "Negros" every now and then that have nothing to do with anything.  I can't wait for more.

The front (back?) of the letter presents this is some sort of newcomers guide or something. The reverse is a rant against social services ... I guess. I was surprised that I could read this but I sorta understand. There are myriad reasons why people are out of work and some of that has to do with technology. Some of that has to do with people not wanting to do a certain job. Some of it is because of pure capitalism: it's cheaper for a company to get someone to do the same job in an economically-depressed country over people in the U.S. wanting health insurance or vacation or stupid things like that.

Or it could be the fault of the Greeks and Negros. I don't know.


Note the glorious question  mark at the top.  I think I shall call this c-money-itis because it must be a disease that must be eradicated from the earth. Beyond that, this letter has it all: all caps, cursive, underlines, exclamation marks and other questionable punctuation, non sequitur racist comments, you name it.  Someone needs to hide the pens and paper from grampa or grandma.  I picture a granddaughter taking her boyfriend over for Thanksgiving and whispering at the stoop, "For the love of God, don't tell Uncle Wallie that your last name is Plagianakos!"

 

Greeks and Negros Have Nose in Every Thing Sneaky!

READ THIS YOU AS ALSO A NEWCOMER WILL LEARN A LOT IF YOU WANT TO!

LOT OF GREEKS LAWYER HERE!

OR SCARED TO

WHY ISN'T THE REAL HISTORY OF TOWN NOT PROMOTED? IT WAS NOT GRANT + LINCOLN JUST OVER 150 YEARS AGO IT WAS OVER 300 YRS AGO!

Another Report or Question for [CITY] "News."

I lived here during Depression Years My Mother worked for W.P.A. and young men worked for C.C.C.!

I worked going to high School at Night drugstore Saturdays Woolworth's!

We WORKED — My brother in high school Washed Blankets for Hospital — We knew head nurse there that gave him what he wanted [GIGGITY?] NOT Charity but WORK!

This is something for your paper to question — "A Town full of Adults:

WALL TO WALL WORK including A Huge (THEME PARK) Military Base — [NAME OF BASE] (ONLY BASE — I HAVE TOURED MANY) TO HAVE A CIVILIAN CLUB? BUT [CITY] HAS WALL TO WALL WELFARE, SOCIAL SERVICES AND HUD! WHY?

IN 1930s WE HAD ONE POLICE OFFICER! WHY THE CHANGE SINCE 1970S?

Happy New Year!

"Please run with the attached photo."

letter the twenty-fifth: wait ... drive-through waffles?! SWEET.

There was a restaurant listing without a full address and I'll be the farm on the restaurant being well-known in the area to the point that you're an idiot if you don't know where it is.

"As for the charges of racism ... ???" the contributor said.

Where on Grand River? What city,  I can see why you can only write for the [NEWSPAPER]. This is a waste of my time with your shoddy reporting, does this restaurant even exist, you are a racist pig for this irresponsible stereotyping.

[THE] Cafe It's a drive-thru on Grand River that has a more massive menu than most restaurants! Get drive-thru Belgian waffles!

How dare you offend the Belgians but now sharing where to get their waffles!  I bet you tell everyone where to get French toast. Why do you hate Belgium and the [SHOT!] JV football team so much?

You know, if this guy knows where it is on Grand River and what's on the menu and is lazy enough to get waffles from a fucking drive through, yes reading the listing WAS  a waste of his time. The restaurant probably doesn't exist anymore because you were so busy drooling with your finger up your nose to go through the drive through correctly and smashed into a wall. AND i REFUSE TO SPELL THROUGH WiTH JUST THE U.

letter the twenty-fourth: envelope to the editor

Somewhere in the course of devouring four plates of food Thursday, I apparently ate today's leditor. Luckily, we got another one from the guy who set the nut job meter off the charts.


"Remember I sent you that crazy letter from the guy who was not just content to fill pages with handwritten screed, but actually started taping different letters together?" the contributor said. "Now he just sent an envelope with the writing on the outside. On the inside? Empty! I fear he's at the end of his tether."

Read it and weep. Literally. The capitalization is my estimate of where a sentence would start if there were punctuation. Or lowercase letters (with the exception of the first letter of the city). At least he doesn't dot his capital I.

The dude is definitely hell-bent on having more than one wife. I bet he thinks it's just like having two women in a porno.

United States is now communist Coperate giants give jobs to save labor Cuba has free health care no greedy doctors no insurance needed Give Castro Nobel Peace Prize, its good acorns in White House Laws are now liberal Give men right to choose to have more than one wife – Mormons 2008

letter the fourteenth: loss for words

I've been waiting for post this one. Partially because I was trying to figure out what in the blue hell it said. Partially because I was waiting for more leditors from somewhere so this would be the first big dip in our roller coaster ride of crazy. I guess, at this point, since all I have left or the spam "obits," this instead will be going out with a bang. That is, until you all start submitting stuff on a more frequent basis. This trickle is killing me!

Obadiah in Bible said even as your have drunk drinking upon Gods Holy Utah Mountains do [WHAT?] wrong to Lords Ambassador Albanian Mormon Prince david His family so shall all the heathen continually drink upon you.

[WHAT?] causing attacks on your am ambassadors the embassies other targets in outside United States. Riots by blacks Negroes startinged April 1964 - crime on your Mexican border - raids into United States - rapes houses taken people kidnapped - pay ransoms -

On 9-11-00 in detroit - Michigan a metro Christian [NAME] in answer to davids letter said on TV-26 if Mormons make polygamy legal he [COMPLETE MESS OF TEXT] get guns go to Salt Lake City to stop Mormons comit murder his holy war-

On 9-11-01 Jesus Christ had Saidi Arabian Prince Osama Bin Laden A polygamist attack twin towers World Trade Center in New York the Pentagon - the White House

On 9-11-09 and Attack is planed to murder. As many U.S. citizen as possible 9-11-09 You should Make polygamy legal.

Ambassadors for Christ Pastor [ADDRESS].

Another attack by man from Jordan was planned ot take place October 2009.Terrorist. U.S. Bastards - Plummer holy war - Your doing wrong to Jesus son david.



I'm so confused. I'm so, so confused.  What the hell is this?  It's like someonedrank to the point that he thought he was a Mormon prophet. But Mormons don't even drink coffee. I think this guy is blaming 9/11, Detroit's race riots in the '60s, illegal immigration and Apple Jacks not tasting like apples on the U.S. making polygamy illegal. Yes, all the terrorists will like us if we had multiple wives. Also, I might not know my Bible from cover to cover but I'm pretty sure it would have been very hard for David to actually be Albanian, especially since, apparently, the Balkans were known as Illyria at the time. Oh, and the Bible mentions the begets several times and he is not Albanian unless that's where the Garden of Eden was.

The contributor said this guy sends things in all the time and this is just the beginning (something we just HAVE to see ... hint, hint).

"[L]ately they've been more frantic, with many pages taped together and stuffed inside a tiny envelope," the contributor said. "Jesus and 9/11, together again."

I don't know about you all but I'd would be making sure there wasn't any power in these and would wash my hand after handling any of his correspondence.

This is just ... Wow. This is probably the first time I have said "This guy needs to be committed" and meant it.

Someone has to be able to top this. Send it to leditoreditor [at] gmail.com. Please. May heathen continually drink upon you if you don't.

letter the second. Not going to try to transcribe.

I guess we're supposed to read between the lines?